October is World Menopause Awareness Month. Ladies (of a certain age), I will let that sink in for a minute.... I have tried to envision the decorative door wreath I could make for this month. I see a circle of dried up flowers and leaves to which I would hot glue small battery operated fans, granny panties and shredded pieces of my divorce decree. Now I know not every woman has the kind of brutal menopause that I experienced. There is always that one friend that says she barely noticed it happening (I want to throat punch that friend, by the way). But, most women who have gone, or are going through menopause have similar experiences of varying degrees. It is a shared sisterhood and the loneliest existence, at the same time.
I won't go into a lengthy, detailed description of the ten long years that it took me to navigate the three stages of menopause, but here are the highlights. Perimenopause: weight gain, fatigue, and a personality shift to rival Jekyl and Hyde. Menopause: Sleepless, sweat soaked nights ending with me sitting on the back patio at 2:00 am, trying to cool down while chain smoking, crying, and plotting my sleeping husband's death. Post Menopause: Aside from the permanent belly fat and dry skin, pretty blissful, sort of like floating in a calm bay after riding out a violent ocean storm in a very small boat during which you went way off course and your husband fell overboard.
Looking back, it's easy to laugh about, but menopause was a confusing and difficult time that had it's onset right, smack dab in the middle of what should have been the best time of my life. I may be a wee bit bitter about it now, but being a woman means navigating the deep complexities and contradictions that comprise us. I'm not sure just one month is enough awareness or too much, but suffice to say, my menopause experience has compelled me to speak out here in my blog, through my social media, talking one-on-one with other women, and even in a theatrical monologue about the profound meaning this transition has in a woman's journey. Perhaps the most universal experience among the women I have shared with is the feeling of being invisible.
So instead of crafting a door wreath, I think I will just walk up to every middle aged woman I encounter this month and say, "I see you."
SEH
