Eulogy

    

   I lost a very dear friend last month.  To my surprise, her children asked me to give her eulogy.  I had never written a eulogy, much less given one, and, at first I was concerned that I would not know what to write and that I would not be able to give the eulogy without breaking down.  As it happened, both turned out to be one of the easiest tasks I have ever undertaken.  Why?  I think, out of all in attendance at her funeral, I had the blessing of fully expressing my love and admiration for my sweet friend.  The following is my eulogy for my friend (her family gave their consent for me to share it on my blog).

Eulogy for Shana:

In the words of Dr. Suess, “Why fit in, when you were born to stand out.”  Shana Ledet Qualls was born to stand out.  

Shana was a true force of nature.  Her boundless energy, optimism, humor and generosity touched everyone she came in contact with.  She was many things to many people…daughter, sister, mother, grandmother, teacher, coach, mentor, artist, and friend.  I have never met anyone who was a part of Shana’s sphere who didn’t have a story of how she touched their life in a positive, sometimes profound way. 

Of all the roles, on and off the stage, that Shana played, the one of which she was most proud was that of mother and grandmother to her amazing four children and six grandchildren.  As a single mother, Shana faced lots of struggles, but as they say, “the proof is in the pudding” and Shana’s children, Evona, Victoria, Etienna, and Cramer continue to carry on their mother’s legacy of hard work, determination, generosity, compassion and love. And, like their mother, the word “family” is not limited to blood only.  Many friends, myself included, have been encircled by the Qualls embrace as family.

Just like many of you here today, my friendship with Shana was instantaneous and life altering.  Little did we know when we struck up our new friendship that soon circumstances would shake our world and bind us together as friends in a way that we could never have imagined. Shana’s health crisis would be the greatest test of her indomitable spirit and will.

Now, Shana’s children will tell you that I saved their mother’s life.  I am here today, before God and everybody, to set the record straight.  I did not save Shana’s life.  Shana saved her own life.

On that fateful morning, seven years ago, Shana woke realizing that she was in trouble.  She had the presence of mind to call me, because she knew, living next door, I was the closest to her.  Although she could barely hold her phone as the stroke was overtaking her, she managed to tell Siri to call Sally.  When I answered she spoke only two words, “Come now”.  I leapt out of bed, ran next door in my pajamas.  I had a key to her house (because that’s what little old ladies who live alone do...we give keys to our neighbors in case of emergency).  As I entered Shana’s bedroom, although at that point she could not speak, she was mouthing the words “call an ambulance” which of course I was already doing.  So see, even in the midst of a stroke she was directing the play.  I was merely a player…not even the lead!  Miraculously, the ambulance arrived within minutes of my call and Shana tenaciously held on as she was rushed to Lafayette General, where, luckily, a talented surgeon was just finishing a surgery and was able to move right on to Shana’s emergency surgery.  That surgeon removed a tennis ball sized clot from the base of Shana’s skull.  Later we learned that type of stroke had a very low survival rate, but that clot had not met Shana Qualls.

Many hours later, Shana awoke in ICU, her children at her bedside.  As in the case of stroke victims, the Qualls family had no idea what level of recovery their mother would have.  Because she was still intubated, she could not speak.  To their astonishment, she reached out and took her daughter Evona’s hand and began to trace letters in her palm.  First she spelled out “I love you”.  Next she spelled out “Who’s taking my show?”.  You see, she was in the midst of directing a production at Abby Players.  Once a trouper, always a trouper.

That 24 hours began the journey of the last six years of Shana’s life that would call on her to dig deep and fire up that will of spirit and determination that she would need.  As her friend, I was humbled by her strength and tenacity to keep going, even as her body was betraying her.  There were good days and there were dark days, but through it all she persevered.  Her best days were those spent with her family and the joy of attending plays, recitals and local events where she was always met with hugs and the good wishes of her many friends and beneficiaries of her teaching or directing over the years.  She would be delighted to see how many of you came to celebrate her life today…gosh knows she loved a full house.

As I said, the past six years never shook her indomitable spirit, but took its toll on Shana’s body.  And, last Tuesday our sweet friend finally laid that burden down.  While we are sad and grieving, we are also relieved and at peace that her gypsy soul and wild heart are finally set free.

Just as I began with the words of Dr. Seuss, so will I leave you with another of his quotes, “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”